Thursday, September 25, 2003

This from a chat: EntropyHed:: oh i have a mildly amusing story... Oren Grudgebearer:: I liked Bonanza ipaulo:: me too. nothing wrong with Bonanza EntropyHed:: adrienne and I were sitting in the kitchen friday night after spending a couple hours starting to get ready for my sisters baby shower we were hosting EntropyHed:: we both noticed that our cats were staring ears forward at the cabinet beneath our kitchen sink EntropyHed:: so... ipaulo:: uh oh EntropyHed:: (a little lighter and bold will help) EntropyHed:: i crouch down and listen first EntropyHed:: then i here that tell tale crunching sound EntropyHed:: i grab a flashlight and slowly open the cupboard EntropyHed:: adrienne is peering over my shoulder and i notice a hole in the back left on a board that seperates the sink from the dishwasher Urda:: haus maus EntropyHed:: about that time a grey tree rat pokes his head out of the hole EntropyHed:: notices he has a crowd and disappears back inside ipaulo:: KILL IT. ipaulo:: darn. got away EntropyHed:: (he was really cute BTW) ipaulo:: they spread disease. and little tiny poops too. Urda:: i have chewed too far today EntropyHed:: so i take off the bottom of the dishwasher and notice just in time his feet disappear EntropyHed:: so.... EntropyHed:: this is 12:00 at night now EntropyHed:: i disconnect the dishwasher and slowly pull it out, tense...waiting Urda:: turtle! kermie! earn your keep! EntropyHed:: ...nothing...but lots scat Urda:: nice EntropyHed:: when i finally get it most of the way out i notice another hole...this one disappearing into the wall EntropyHed:: again...a little peek by our rat and a disappearing act EntropyHed:: so... EntropyHed:: i look at adrienne...she looks at me Urda:: and you name it fred EntropyHed:: "i can't kill it" ( i release spiders to the wild for crissakes) EntropyHed:: "me either" Oren Grudgebearer:: what was that movie that came out awhile ago? Mouse Hunt? Where they destroyed the house trying to get the mouse EntropyHed:: "well we can't just let is wander around" EntropyHed:: so using cardboard aluminum coookie sheet we cover up the holes EntropyHed:: there are 3 total EntropyHed:: and resolve to deal with it in the morning EntropyHed:: we turn out the lights to the sounds of little feet and teeth on aluminum EntropyHed:: next morning EntropyHed:: we are trying to figure out what to do... EntropyHed:: first we go through a massive cleanup EntropyHed:: we write off the dishwasher (even though it works fine) EntropyHed:: it's outside as we speak Oren Grudgebearer:: lol EntropyHed:: i can't hear anything so start to remove the temporary anti rat measures Oren Grudgebearer:: he got into the dishwasher? EntropyHed:: not inside the cleaning part...but up all around the electrical and motor Oren Grudgebearer:: ahh, don't want to take the chance of an electrical fire EntropyHed:: i remove the last "patch" and... EntropyHed:: [nope] EntropyHed:: ...peek.. EntropyHed:: find out later...he's in a dead end ipaulo:: they have traps that are nonlethal Oren Grudgebearer:: yeah, my parents had one EntropyHed:: we walled it in last night like some old wine cellar story ipaulo:: you can take him on a hike in the little trap and drop off near a snake hole. Oren Grudgebearer:: has a spring door type of thing that flips the mouse into a holding box EntropyHed:: i slam the cooke sheet back in place and we brainstoem for bit Oren Grudgebearer:: fire always works /wink EntropyHed:: adrienne get a smallish cardboard box and cuts a cartoon-like mouse hole in one side ipaulo:: this is going to get ugly i fear ipaulo:: EntropyHed:: we put some bacon in it and I hold it against the hole Oren Grudgebearer:: bacon, you need to use peanut butter EntropyHed:: adrienne has an appointment and goes to take a shower... Oren Grudgebearer:: hehe EntropyHed:: so I'm waiting now by myself holding a cardboard box against the wall...frozen...waiting waiting wating... EntropyHed:: and i wait some more ipaulo:: RUN AWAY! EntropyHed:: my muscles are cramping now EntropyHed:: and i hear some noises EntropyHed:: and some scratching in the box ipaulo:: watch out! It's a Witch-Mouse EntropyHed:: then EntropyHed:: i feel the whole weight og the mouse EntropyHed:: quickly i try to move the box so it can't get out EntropyHed:: but it's too smart EntropyHed:: i trap it halfway in the box and the wall Oren Grudgebearer:: ewww EntropyHed:: my resolve weakens as i hear it struggle and i pull the box away EntropyHed:: so it runs back in the hole EntropyHed:: *sigh* EntropyHed:: i refresh the bait and do it again... EntropyHed:: s l o w l y EntropyHed:: i hear scratching again EntropyHed:: then in the box EntropyHed:: i move it quickly ipaulo:: really stupid mouse EntropyHed:: ...nothing... ipaulo:: but fast.. EntropyHed:: i shake the box EntropyHed:: ...nothing... ipaulo:: and fed.. EntropyHed:: i pull it away from the wall and look inside Oren Grudgebearer:: you put your eye to the hole ? EntropyHed:: like some posessed jack in the box this rat springs from the box Oren Grudgebearer:: Lol ipaulo:: it likes bacon. You thy enemy and the battle is almost yours. ipaulo:: it had huge fangs! ipaulo:: get the holy handgrenade Urda:: the holy handgrenade of antioch! Oren Grudgebearer joined EntropyHed:: I'm sitting crosslegged by the cupboard and it has no where to go since in my panic i dropped the box and it falls in front of it's exit ipaulo:: Good thing adrienne is in the shower Urda:: well is a tree rat Oren Grudgebearer:: doh, I was disconnected... what I miss EntropyHed:: after noticing doubles back... EntropyHed:: runs along the top of my left leg (I'm wearing shorts) Urda:: bah...just grab the tail and fling it out the window EntropyHed:: [it's FAST] Dyrk:: Ahhhh! Urda:: hehe EntropyHed:: banks across my midsection and down my other leg EntropyHed:: then... EntropyHed:: I'm squeaking like a girl Dyrk:: Lol! EntropyHed:: it realizes it's still trapped and heads back at me EntropyHed:: runs up my chest and over my left shoulder into the greater house Dyrk:: Run away!!! Urda:: Dyrk:: And the cats at this point? Urda:: EntropyHed:: [the cats are locked up] ipaulo:: WOAH! It ran up your body?! KILL IT!!! ipaulo:: release the cats! Urda:: rat cooties! Dyrk:: Unleash the hounds! Err. Cats! ipaulo:: right away! My god! EntropyHed:: it's now under our sofa looking terrified and turbo charged Urda:: turtle! kermie! earn your keep! EntropyHed:: so i open the front door hoping it will run out on it's own Oren Grudgebearer:: thats why you have cats EntropyHed:: nothing Dyrk:: To crawl back under the house then gnaw through your wall again... Oren Grudgebearer:: let the cats chase it out... ewww, it touched you..... Urda:: eric has rat cooties EntropyHed:: so i take my son's toy fishing pole and laying down prod it ipaulo:: have you burned your clothes at this point yet to get rid of the aforementioned rat cooties? EntropyHed:: nothing EntropyHed:: tap it again and it runs toward the door ipaulo:: more bacon must be the answer at this point Dyrk:: Gloves are good. EntropyHed:: SALVATION! EntropyHed:: ...nope... EntropyHed:: runs right by the door under the kitchen table ipaulo:: bacon ON the fishing pole? EntropyHed:: grrrr Urda:: ROFL Dyrk:: Stupid rodent. Urda:: bacon on the cat on the fishing pole Oren Grudgebearer:: ok, I am still laughing out loud... Dyrk:: (Rat fishing?) ipaulo:: ROFL EntropyHed:: i end up chasing it back under the sofa EntropyHed:: [by the door again] Urda:: Dyrk:: (But you shouldda seen the one that got away!) EntropyHed:: more prodding this time goes and runs under the entertainment center Dyrk:: Oy. Urda:: ick! ipaulo:: NOT THE TV! EntropyHed:: i call in the troops Urda:: that's a beyotch EntropyHed:: mom! dad! Dyrk:: Hahaha. EntropyHed:: i need your help Urda:: rat! out! now! EntropyHed:: so they come over ipaulo:: Can I have your TV? Rat poop and all. (like your dishwasher) ipaulo:: electrical fires and all. Dyrk:: Need to be safe, after all. EntropyHed:: i give my mom two long peices of plywood and my dad lays down chairs Urda:: mom! got bacon? EntropyHed:: we now have a narrow raceway leading outside Urda:: no bacon? EntropyHed:: so i start prodding the thing again and it runs... Dyrk:: Where he will go under the house and gnaw his way through the wall to look for more bacon... :) ) EntropyHed:: up into the entertainment center Oren Grudgebearer:: speaking of TV's... ours stopped working today... looks like Daddy is going to get a big screen Dyrk:: Woo hoo! Urda:: because that's where the bacon is EntropyHed:: it's hiding under the tv Dyrk:: I holding out for plasma... Dyrk:: The 5 -year plan has been reset... ipaulo:: stay on target@! Urda:: so you put bacon in the tv EntropyHed:: so i stick it somemore witht he fishing pole starting to think i need some #10 hooks Dyrk:: Heheh. Dyrk:: Ewww. ipaulo:: is adrienne at the store now getting bacon? Urda:: oh god Urda:: my sides EntropyHed:: when it runs out of the entertainment center and does this half kangaroo hopping thing out the front door... Oren Grudgebearer:: treble hooks EntropyHed:: *whew* Urda:: and then runs back in for more bacon ipaulo:: but wait... ipaulo:: ipaulo:: there must be more!? ipaulo:: invent something. Urda:: bacon maus EntropyHed:: "I" run to hope depot pick up a huge box of rat poison a sheet of half inch plywood and drywall screws ipaulo:: and more bacon. Urda:: rofl Oren Grudgebearer:: with #10 hooks Urda:: i'm crying i'm laughing so hard Dyrk:: The rat-trap of eternal perrrril. ipaulo:: lol EntropyHed:: proceed to cram the poison into every orifice EntropyHed:: and screw the plywood over the holes Oren Grudgebearer:: you could bathe instead Urda:: mmmm cooties EntropyHed:: then...I take a shower Oren Grudgebearer:: burn the clothes EntropyHed:: that's my story ipaulo:: yuck. you didn't shower and change before going out for more bacon? That's gross! Oren Grudgebearer:: must say, that was entertaining ipaulo:: and unproductive! EntropyHed:: i had a pretty good laugh too...afterwards ipaulo:: i like that you called your parents. ipaulo:: that's sweet EntropyHed:: they live next door ipaulo:: oh. Oren Grudgebearer:: classic ipaulo:: Oren Grudgebearer:: Paul, you must brighten your text... i'm getting eye strain EntropyHed:: the funniest part Oren Grudgebearer:: EntropyHed:: is adrienne is in the shower and she can hear the whole thing EntropyHed:: did she come out? nope EntropyHed:: her parting words to me before going into the shower were "Don't let get into the house" ipaulo:: how's this O? EntropyHed:: go bold ipaulo:: better? EntropyHed:: there ya go Oren Grudgebearer:: ahh, mucho mejor ipaulo:: boy, after that, I want to go home and play SWG. Not sure why. Oren Grudgebearer:: /grin ipaulo:: and check the apartment for bacon. ipaulo:: er... rats Oren Grudgebearer:: still think peanut butter works better ipaulo:: THAT'S IT E! If you'd just used peanut butter ipaulo:: then, when it was in the box, it would have been too busy doing that roof-of-mouth licking thing dogs do when they eat pb. it couldn't have run away EntropyHed:: lol EntropyHed:: yeah you're probably right ipaulo:: next time. EntropyHed:: no next time EntropyHed:: i put a lifetimes supply of rat poison under, above, in the house walls EntropyHed:: my house will have the toxic halflife of a nevada desert Urda:: ah yes...the foothil tree rat

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