I am deeply flawed

Finally got my webcam working the way I like enough to include a link.

bruce_dirksen: "lesbian bitch cow diva" --> now THAT is an image. feliciaelena: moo feliciaelena: more chocolate...less crankiness bruce_dirksen: Here here. entropyhed: <-eating a frozen ding dong ;) entropyhed: gad damm that's good bruce_dirksen: Huh. entropyhed: haven't had a ding dong in probably 10 years entropyhed: then adrienne mentioned off hand she used to put them in the freezer as a kid and eat them that way entropyhed: as fate would have it...ding dongs (for the first time mind you) appeared in the vending machine on friday (they are now gone again) entropyhed: so I purchased one and put it in the freezer here over the weekend entropyhed: i must say...it was worth the wait entropyhed: *this interlude bought to you by another under utilized lump of gray matter* bruce_dirksen: I repeat.... "Huh" :) feliciaelena: ding dongs... feliciaelena: feliciaelena: bruce_dirksen: <--- does not drool over Ding Dongs as a matter of principle. feliciaelena: principle schmiciple...gimme! bruce_dirksen: <--- Saving himself for good treats....like cookies! feliciaelena: bah! cream filling! feliciaelena: and waxy xhoxolate feliciaelena: oy entropyhed: it was really damn good feliciaelena: I applaud your desire to expand your baked treat horizons E entropyhed: (and my waistline) feliciaelena: not THAT's a baked GOOD feliciaelena: man cannot live by vegetables alone feliciaelena: actually he can...but he gets really skinny and pastey looking feliciaelena: and their hair gets awfully dull...

Flea came back from Washington DC, where she failed miserably in her mission to dethrone philosopher king Bush, with a funky new writing implement. My initial comment was along the lines of engineers with too much time on their hands, but it's growing on me. What do you think?

This weekend I picked up a car stereo and installed it in my poor old Nissan Sentra. It's been 6 or 7 years since I had a functioning car stereo in there. I made the mistake of listening to Bruce Springsteen this morning on the way to work. This song in particular blew me away for the 100th time... Blood Brothers Lyrics Artist: Bruce Springsteen Album: Greatest Hits We played king of the mountain out on the end The world come chargin' up the hill, and we were women and men Now there's so much that time, time and memory fade away We got our own roads to ride and chances we gotta take We stood side by side each one fightin' for the other We said until we died we'd always be blood brothers Now the hardness of this world slowly grinds your dreams away Makin' a fool's joke out of the promises we make And what once seemed black and white turns to so many shades of gray We lose ourselves in work to do and bills to pay And it's a ride, ride, ride, and there ain't much cover With no one runnin' by your side my blood brother On through the houses of the dead past those fallen in their tracks Always movin' ahead and never lookin' back Now I don't know how I feel, I don't know how I feel tonight If I've fallen 'neath the wheel, if I've lost or I've gained sight I don't even know why, I don't why I made this call Or if any of this matters anymore after all But the stars are burnin' bright like some mystery uncovered I'll keep movin' through the dark with you in my heart My blood brother

Dirk, Sheila, the twins, Jeremy and I met up last night at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney. We had a great time and as usual it was just smashing to get face to face time in. I must say it was a pleasure to meet Jeremy and his family.

The Con-man battles my sister's new puppy for control of the world in the classic struggle of good vs. evil.

Freeway Musings It's been a while since I posted anything here. I know. I know. The urge to share with the greater world comes and goes. [shrug] Conrad woke up at 5:30 this morning and despite Adrienne's best efforts would not go back to sleep. So I was treated to a morning with my family and breakfast. I shuttled Adrienne off to do some yoga and got Con-man ready for the day. Shorts and a hawaiian shirt and his tennis shoes, "I want to wear my running shoes daddy". "Absolutely, and why would you want to wear anything else?" So I got him dressed and I got to play Darth Vader a little and teach the young Ben Kanobi a thing or two about the power of the dark side before heading out into the morning and work. Leaving for work is a different thing on the days when C is up and about. It breaks my heart into little pieces. "I have to go to work now kiddo". He looks up at me still holding his light saber. "Not yet". "I have to go honey or I'm going to be late". All of which means nothing to him of course. So I watch the brief second of shock settle into perfect face. His brow crumples, his eyes redden and he lowers his head into the sofa pillow and begins to sob. I suppose it's good that he misses me when I'm not there. But I don't feel that way then. I can feel the guilt, shame and urge to run coming at me like another personality. So I lean over and give him a kiss on his perfect head and pet his hair. " I love you honey, I know you don't understand. I'll be home in a few hours to play", and I walk out the door and hold my hand up in the air signing I love you. It's a strange trick of modern society that pulls a parent from their kids in order to provide. Robert Bly insist in Iron John that part of my job as a father is to show Conrad how to be fierce. Not savage like Bush and his brethren, knelt so dutifully in prayer to the prince of peace while they send the American military on a modern day crusade, but fierce. I'm not real sure what the difference is, but I know I don't feel fierce as I drive away with a catch in my throat. I'll never be a good enough father to him. Never. Not from lack of trying, I'm just trying to find a place where I can be ok with that. As I pull up to a stop light, I remind myself to practice meditating at the red lights...

Evolved Skeptic is a poopoo head. I have proof.